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Monday, October 12, 2009

Getting a Leg Up...

Well, maybe not a leg up, so to speak, but maybe getting a leg fixed. So many of you have been wonderful to call and check on Noah and his Dr. visit.... Well, here's the scoop.

We don't know anything yet.

Ha! It's true! And trust me, it's as frustrating for me to write as it is for you to read! We made our appointment on Wednesday for the initial visit (Hi, my name is Dr. Soandso... what are we going to do for Mr. Noah today?) and of course, he had to go for an MRI before the Dr. even knew what was going on. And since I had the opportunity to be in Jackson for 3 days, I made us available for appts. for those days. Well, the Lord always knows what he's doing, ya know? There was a problem with their MRI service that they couldn't get us in for an MRI until Friday afternoon - too late to have a follow-up visit with the Dr. I mentioned to the nurse that my brother in law is a radiologist and I could get an MRI at his MobileMRI probably that next day. The Dr. was perfectly OK with that and (God love my brother in law, Joe) we were in the clinic having an MRI that very afternoon. (I mean, no need to wait until Thursday, right?) My BIL was able to read the MRI as I stood in his office and he explained the whole thing to me, pointing out what he saw and letting me know what he made of the whole thing. Let me just tell you, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS ONE THING!!! God knows me. Bless His Holy Name! He knows that I am in need of information whether I fully understand it or not. I am so thankful that my BIL was able to do this. Not only do I trust him completely, he took the time to thoroughly examine the film, explain it to me, and talk with me about it for nearly an hour. That was such a blessing to me. I am thankful the Lord loves me, warts and all. And that He loves me even when I don't have the faith of a little child. I fret so much when I don't know what's going on. I need information even tho I may not be able to do a thing with it. And bless the Lord, He worked it all out so that I would be comforted with having my nephew conduct the MRI (oh, did I mention that little tidbit? Isn't God good!!), my BIL reading and explaining the film to me, and with no waiting!! As my friend Cindy likes to say, "God's showin' out today!"

Okay, back to the knee...

So, Noah has a crooked leg. We knew that. But what we didn't know is that his leg is at a 20 degree angle and that angle is exhaserbating a torn miniscus. The miniscus tear probably happened at the original injury, but since Noah has had a growth spurt that made the leg more crooked, the bones are squeezing the cartiledge and tearing it more. (I think that's right) We also know that Noah will have to have surgery. He will require a sports medicine MD to repair the miniscus injury and the orthopedic MD to work on straightening the leg. And we do know that both these things will be done in the same surgery. What we don't know is what exactly the proceedure is for straightening the leg nor when it will be done. The doctor didn't want to answer any questions until he consulted with some other physicians and figured out the best course of action. Please be in prayer for Dr. McCluskey as he makes these plans. Pray that God will guide him in all things concerning this surgery. I do know that this Dr. is a believer (praise the Lamb), that he is a homeschool dad (that elevated his status immediately, didn't it??? LOL!), and that he has been forthright with us up to this point. I value that greatly. I appreciate his directness.

So now we wait. We'll wait until Dr. M calls us to talk about surgery options and we'll go from there. Please also be in prayer for us as we make decisions that will affect Noah for the rest of his life. I know the Lord has a plan for Noah in all this. I have known it since the beginning. I do believe with all my heart that the Lord will use this to grow Noah, to strengthen his character, and to draw him closer to Himself. I have such an assurance of that. I guess my prayer is just that I don't get in God's way. That I am seeking His will diligently and straining my ears to hear His voice and guidance in every decision.

Thank you all for your prayers, love, support, and concern. I promise to keep you updated.
I love you all,
Lori

Friday, October 2, 2009

In His Hands...

As many of you know, my DH began a new job yesterday.

And, to my dismay, I cried all day long.

I couldn't even tell you, precisely, what I was crying about. I just knew that every time I thought of him with that gun and badge back on my heart squeezed... and I cried. And every time a friend asked me, "Well, how are you today?" I couldn't answer for all the tears. I mean, how much more ridiculous could I have been yesterday? I was weeping as if he had died... But he was still alive and I was no good to him or for him because I was in such a GRIP of fear! What can you do when you feel like you are flying apart? No matter how much my dear, precious friends tried to comfort me, they just couldn't reach that part of me that held no logic and couldn't be reasoned with. That little child that was huddled in the corner, sobbing, with her face hidden and her thumb in her mouth, having sure knowledge that something wicked and awful was coming for her. I couldn't talk to her. I tried. I couldn't reason with her. I tried that. I even threatened her and berated her for her foolishness. I couldn't even take the "Mommy Tone" with her and bring about her submission thru authority. Again, I tried.

So I prayed.

And tho my authority was not enough to coax the weeping child from the corner, the authority of my King, Jesus My Redeemer was more than enough. And she ran, weeping and clinging to the Savior. And He just held her. He held her as she wept, comforted her with assurances that have no words, and reminded her of His promises as he read to her from His Word. And through the day as she would be fearful again, He would take hold of her and comfort her once more, giving her more promises from His Word. He gently and faithfully reminded her of His faithfulness and His love that has no end... And all day long He loved her in tangible ways that only she could see. Which made it all the more precious because she knew that it was only for her. And that the Savior of the World, the King of the Universe, the Lord of Glory spent His time to comfort her in her foolishness and insecurities... She had no words.

Now today as the little girl and I are one once again, I marvel at the fountain of GRACE that my Savior poured out on me. I am more than thankful... No, there are no words. I am more than moved... it can't be measured by space or distance. I am astounded. I am in awe.

I am His.

And He is mine.


And none can separate me from the love of my Savior for He said it was so.


"nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39

And yesterday as I felt imprisoned and chained by the GRIP of fear, today I can see that it's not fear whose GRIP I'm in. I'm in HIS GRIP... In the nail scarred hands of Jesus my Lord who DIED for me! I know He will never let me go...
"...no one will snatch them out of my hand." John 10:28b

He will never leave me nor forsake me. He shall be My Defender (thank you E for being the word of the Lord and sharing that with me...).

And best of all, "Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked when it cometh. For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken." (Prov. 3:25&26) He is My Confidence!! I am nothing of myself! There is nothing that can happen to me, my DH, our marriage, our family that He does not allow! It's ALL in His Hands. And nothing that is in His hands shall ever be snatched from it.
Stealing a line from my dear friend who signs her letters this way:
In His Grip...
L