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Friday, October 2, 2009

In His Hands...

As many of you know, my DH began a new job yesterday.

And, to my dismay, I cried all day long.

I couldn't even tell you, precisely, what I was crying about. I just knew that every time I thought of him with that gun and badge back on my heart squeezed... and I cried. And every time a friend asked me, "Well, how are you today?" I couldn't answer for all the tears. I mean, how much more ridiculous could I have been yesterday? I was weeping as if he had died... But he was still alive and I was no good to him or for him because I was in such a GRIP of fear! What can you do when you feel like you are flying apart? No matter how much my dear, precious friends tried to comfort me, they just couldn't reach that part of me that held no logic and couldn't be reasoned with. That little child that was huddled in the corner, sobbing, with her face hidden and her thumb in her mouth, having sure knowledge that something wicked and awful was coming for her. I couldn't talk to her. I tried. I couldn't reason with her. I tried that. I even threatened her and berated her for her foolishness. I couldn't even take the "Mommy Tone" with her and bring about her submission thru authority. Again, I tried.

So I prayed.

And tho my authority was not enough to coax the weeping child from the corner, the authority of my King, Jesus My Redeemer was more than enough. And she ran, weeping and clinging to the Savior. And He just held her. He held her as she wept, comforted her with assurances that have no words, and reminded her of His promises as he read to her from His Word. And through the day as she would be fearful again, He would take hold of her and comfort her once more, giving her more promises from His Word. He gently and faithfully reminded her of His faithfulness and His love that has no end... And all day long He loved her in tangible ways that only she could see. Which made it all the more precious because she knew that it was only for her. And that the Savior of the World, the King of the Universe, the Lord of Glory spent His time to comfort her in her foolishness and insecurities... She had no words.

Now today as the little girl and I are one once again, I marvel at the fountain of GRACE that my Savior poured out on me. I am more than thankful... No, there are no words. I am more than moved... it can't be measured by space or distance. I am astounded. I am in awe.

I am His.

And He is mine.


And none can separate me from the love of my Savior for He said it was so.


"nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39

And yesterday as I felt imprisoned and chained by the GRIP of fear, today I can see that it's not fear whose GRIP I'm in. I'm in HIS GRIP... In the nail scarred hands of Jesus my Lord who DIED for me! I know He will never let me go...
"...no one will snatch them out of my hand." John 10:28b

He will never leave me nor forsake me. He shall be My Defender (thank you E for being the word of the Lord and sharing that with me...).

And best of all, "Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked when it cometh. For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken." (Prov. 3:25&26) He is My Confidence!! I am nothing of myself! There is nothing that can happen to me, my DH, our marriage, our family that He does not allow! It's ALL in His Hands. And nothing that is in His hands shall ever be snatched from it.
Stealing a line from my dear friend who signs her letters this way:
In His Grip...
L

3 comments:

Roan said...

(this is Olivia)
AWWWWW!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT LITTLE DEER!! I JUST MAY HAVE TO SNEAK OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKE HIM AWAY!

Em said...

"Be not afraid of sudden fear..." That'll preach. Love you, girl.

go heartland said...

Lori, What a beautiful testimony. Thanks for writing. Samantha